My Mighty Why or The Story

I love the song The Story by Brandie Carlile:

“All of these lines across my face, Tell you the story of who I am, So many stories of where I have been, And how I got to where I am, But these stories don’t mean anything, When you’ve got no one to tell them to.”

And that is true. Stories come to life, when they are being shared. So here – my reading journey – is part of my story and I am reaching out to you, sharing my insights and learning with you in order to connect to you on a heartfelt basis. 

My journey towards more consciousness and growth started about ten years ago when I felt off in my life of some sorts, but I couldn’t really pinpoint why; I knew something wasn’t right and I wanted to grow and change in a way different from what I had been experiencing before, but I didn’t know how to go about changing my life either. Tackling the different areas in my life that were not working, or not working out the way I intended them to, felt so overwhelming. So, there I was, a university graduate in my twenties, just having secured a job as an English teacher and just having finished writing my final thesis that qualified me for the job. For most of my life I had followed the path that was laid out in front of me. I had always been an avid reader and learner, so going to school and later on pursuing a university degree came all natural to me. But it had never been a thought through decision. One thing had just led to another and all of a sudden I was this qualified English teacher with a Master of Arts in English degree, a loving boyfriend, a steady income, a nice apartment, and lots of great friends. Actually, looking at my circumstances from a “worldly perspective”, I should have needed to be fully content and happy, but I wasn’t…  Don’t get me wrong, I love teaching and seeing my friends and being in a financially stable situation, like probably everyone else does too, but something still wasn’t quite right. I came to the realisation that I had actually never profoundly questioned my choices: my friendships, relationships, my educational path, my career choices, my lifestyle, even what I was eating and wearing. And the more time I dedicated to thinking about my life and my personal story and the paths I had taken, the more I came to realise that a lot of what I had been doing (saying, thinking, and believing) had been because others I admired had walked down that road before me or because it seemed like the sensible thing to do at the time, but assessing my situation, it became clear that my choices didn’t always reflect my very own core values and my way of thinking, looking at, and perceiving the world. So, coming to the conclusion that I was leading a life partly based on other people’s values and expectations of me made me go on a journey of uncovering what I actually want in life and of who this person, the true me, is indeed.

In order to find answers to my questions, I turned to what I know best and enjoy most, which is reading and learning, and I started to extensively, intensively, and excessively read and devour all the self-help books that I could get a hold on. For the past ten years, I have been reading every self-help, self-development, and inspirational book I could lay my hands on. Getting to know myself with the support of those inspirational books that I’ll share with you and by listening to the insights of their authors, I have been able to grow as a person and to develop a sense of which choices are mine and which choices are down to ideas of the person I think I need to or should be. What is it that makes my heart sing and that speaks to my soul? I am going to share my  reading with you and take you along on my journey of growth and self-discovery so that together we can learn from each other and grow as individuals, making this planet a more conscious and love filled place, because even if I have been learning a lot over the past ten years, I am still a work in progress. I am still working on understanding myself and on being kinder, happier, more patient, and less angry most days, but I am willing to keep growing and to give it my all every single day.

What I have learned from reading all those books is that we can share our stories, write them down, and render them accessible for other people to discuss, to ponder, and to learn from. Oprah Winfrey writes in her book What I Know for Sure that

‘The thoughts that linger are the “if only” questions, like Who could I have become if I had finally done the things I always wanted to do?’

So who could or who would I have become, if I had ventured out, engaged with other people and opened up so that dialogue could have taken place. This blog shows my willingness to share my process of self-discovery with a community of people from all over the world in order to help others navigate whatever life holds in store for us with more grace, and ease, and poise, knowing in our heart of hearts that other people have also dealt with whatever we are experiencing at any given point in time and so we know that we are safe in this community of people that share in on our fate. I must say that I am scared and that I fear people’s reactions. But what I fear most is living a life that is frittered away, and where I remain unable to engage with other people, because I didn’t dare to speak up when I had the chance to do so. A book by Serena Dyer is entitled Don’t Die With Your Music Still In You. Whether my book choices or my thoughts will be music to anyone else’s inner ears or if they will reach someone’s heart and hit home with other people remains a mystery until I try to disclose what matters to me. So all we can do is advance in the direction of our dreams and give it our all and see what will happen. Doing my best work is all I can do, in any situation, anyway, because how people react to me or to my creations has to do with their path in life anyway and it’s not about me really. At least that is what I am trying to tell myself while convincing myself to go ahead with my ideas and put them forward. So here is to all the dreamers, the believers, the out of the box thinkers, the seekers trying to find a voice and to profoundly connect to others. I love you and I am grateful that you’ve read till the end. So come along with me on this journey.

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